A Total Fool
by CJS51703
Summary: The intention of the night was a simple dinner at Grillby's. But Sans just had to take it too far, didn't he?


*****What's up, guys? Yep, here I am with another one-shot. If it's a bit bad, then I'm sorry. But this was one of those spur-of-the-moment type things that occur at, like, two in the morning. Which is what most of my uploads are. That aside, Sans, Toriel, Frisk, Papyrus, Grillby, Mettaton (mentioned), and Monster Kid (mentioned) all go to Toby Fox while Hector and the hostess go to me. Without further ado, let's roll!**

Papyrus was spending the night at Mettaton's house at the same time that Frisk was spending the night at Monster Kid's house. This left Sans and Toriel alone together.

Toriel had decided to work on grading papers that she'd unintentionally let pile up quite high. Sans had, what else, fallen asleep on the couch earlier in the evening. So it was a little surprising for Toriel, who at the time was about halfway through grading a child's history paper, heard a familiar deep voice say casually, "What's up, old lady?"

Indeed, Sans was the one standing there, leaning against the doorway. "I thought you were asleep down in the living room," Toriel recalled. "I was. But something happened...I woke up. Tragic, I know. I love a good couch nap," Sans said.

"You love any sort of nap," Toriel corrected. Sans took it into consideration for a few moments. "Yeah, you've got a _point_ ," Sans said. As he said that, he'd picked up a pen from the desk and poked the point of it into Toriel's arm. She smiled and took her pen back.

"So, ah, T. Whaddya say to a night out at Grillby's?" Sans suggested. "I wish I could, but I still have so much work to do. I really shouldn't have let this pile up," Toriel realized a bit too late. Sans examined the desk.

Although things were scattered about, two stacks of paper were clear. One was quite larger than the other. "Which stack of those papers is the ones you haven't graded?" Sans asked. "This one," Toriel said. She pointed to the one that was smaller.

"Tori, you can take a break for a night. You're good at this, you do it fast. At the speed of _light_ ," Sans said. He used is magic to turn the lights on and off briefly.

Toriel giggled at that. She thought about her choices here. At last, she put her pen and reading glasses on the desk. "Well...a break would be nice. And I am getting a bit hungry," she caved.

Sans put on his signature smile. "So I've _goat_ ya on board with a good choice of venue," he said. Toriel crossed her arms with a slight smirk on her face. "Is it so good because you can add our dinners to an endless tab that you constantly put off paying and walk out of the establishment without paying a dime?" she guessed.

"I've got to _hand_ it to you; you know me well," Sans said, holding out his now-popped-off hand. Toriel took it. "I would think so by now, dear," she said. "Than let's head out. Ya don't need to dress up. You don't gotta try to be pretty, you've already accomplished that," Sans said.

Toriel smiled warmly, then glanced at the skeletal appendage that she was still holding. "Let me give you a _hand_ ," she said, holding it out. "Thanks," Sans said. He popped his missing piece back into place. "Well? Ready to go?" he asked. Toriel stood up from her chair and grabbed onto him. "Yes," she said.

And, they went.

XxX

Upon getting to the surface three years in the past, Grillby was quick to invest in, work on, and open up his own restaurant. He and other monsters had the advantage; just a single piece of gold was worth a good stack of money in human currency. So, his new place was quite a bit bigger than the other one and he now served both human and monster food.

Upon appearing outside the front door, Sans opened said door and stepped out of the way as he held it. "You first," he said. "Why, thank you," Toriel said, going in first. The two went up to the hostess' desk. "Table for two, ma'am," Toriel requested.

"Alright, follow me," the hostess said. She grabbed two menus and lead the strange couple off to a table with two chairs. She put down the menus. "A server will be with you soon," she said. Then, she went off.

Sans and Toriel sat down and started looking over their menus. "What the heck's Fire Whiskey?" Sans asked upon seeing it. "Whatever it is, if you do decide to get it, then assure me that you won't drink too much of it," Toriel said. Sans simply shrugged. He grabbed the bottle of ketchup off of the table and drank some of it. Toriel sighed to herself.

It was around that time that a waiter came by. "Hello, my name is Hector, I'll be serving you tonight. What can I get for you to drink?" Hector asked.

"Just a water for me, please," Toriel said. "I'll give this Fire Whiskey a _shot,_ " Sans said. Hector nodded, then went off.

"So please, don't go overboard with it," Toriel pleaded. "Alright, I won't get all _fired_ up," Sans said. Toriel smiled. "Thank you, Sansy," she said.

"No problemo, Tori," was Sans' simple reply.

XxX

The night went on. Sans actually enjoyed the Fire Whiskey...a lot. He kept asking for refills. The first two glasses were acceptable, and a third one was dangerously close to trouble.

But it was four and the many after that things became bad.

Sans was already going to be badly hung over. Toriel tried to get Hector to stop. But Sans threatened him until he defied Toriel's wish and brought more anyways. And whenever Toriel took the glass away, Sans used his magic on it to get it back and keep it. It was unknown just how many glasses he'd had at this point. Sans was now giggling to himself. He held tightly to the half-filled glass as he did so.

"Here's the check you asked for, ma'am," Hector said, putting the bill on the table. Toriel took out her check book and scribbled down the amount needed. She put the check on top of the bill, holding it out. "Here," she said tiredly. Hector took what she owed and left.

"Come on, Sans. We're going home," Toriel said. She walked over and was about to pick up the small skeleton. "Gotta catch me first!" Sans said with a short, crazed laugh. And, he teleported to the opposite side of the restaurant. Toriel ran after him. Before she could grab him, he just teleported away once agin.

This game went on for another twenty minutes. For a drunk, Sans sure did have good control on his magic. "Bye-bye!" he said. And, he teleported out of the restaurant entirely.

Toriel looked around for him. Instead, she saw Grillby. She went over to him instead. "I'm terribly sorry about this. I tried to stop him from getting so drunk in the first place, I honestly did," she explained.

Grillby sighed. "It's not the first time he's gotten drunk in my restaurant. And knowing him, it won't be the last," he said. Toriel nodded grimly. "I'm going home now," she said. And, she left the establishment.

XxX

The next day, Papyrus came home shortly after Frisk did. Toriel had been in the midst of cooking breakfast when they both arrived. "Hello, my child. Hello, Papyrus. Did you both have a good time at your sleepovers?" she asked, forcing herself to sound happy. Her expression, which was unforeseen for she was facing the stove, matched her cranky mood from the previous night.

"The Great Papyrus had a wonderful time!" Papyrus exclaimed. "I had a lot of fun too," Frisk agreed. "Where is my brother? Is he still asleep, the lazy thing?" Papyrus asked.

Toriel turned around, balancing a plate of bacon, a plate of pancakes, and a bowl of scrambled eggs in her hold until she put them down on the center of the table with the bottle of syrup that was already there. "I don't know where he is, to be honestly. We went out for what was supposed to be a simple dinner at Grillby's. But he tried this new Fire Whiskey and wound up as drunk as a poet on pay day. I tried to stop him, I really did. But he just teleported off. So I went home and haven't seen him since. He could be in the middle of nowhere right now, for all I know," she explained. She sat down at the table.

Frisk and Papyrus were already at the table and had begun getting their plates filled. "He only got drunk once when we lived together in Snowdin. He merely told bad puns while slung over my shoulder as I carried him back home. Then he crashed on our couch. When he woke up the next day, he was terribly hung over. He was lucky to have the Great Papyrus taking care of him until he recovered," Papyrus recalled.

"When do you think he'll come back, Mom?" Frisk asked.

"I don't know. But when he does come back," Toriel said, a bit of anger on her face and in her tone, "I surely have to talk to him."

XxX

The last of the papers had been graded, sorted, and put into the computer later that day. "Thank goodness I'm caught up," Toriel finally got to say. She put her things away and stood up just in time to see her missing partner reappear.

Sans was covered in dirt, his clothes were messed up and a bit torn as well, and he had a tired expression on his face. Toriel crossed her arms and she looked at him, tapping her foot in impatience as her expression went stern. "...still angry because I only turned up just now, huh?" Sans eventually guessed.

"No. I'm angry because last night, you made a fool of yourself and humiliated me as well in front of that entire restaurant. You said you wouldn't go overboard. And that's just what you did," Toriel said. Her voice was sharp at the first part, but her tone became one of disappointment at the last part.

Sans looked down to the ground. "Guess that's just me being a _bonehead_ as usual," he said. He looked up finally, barely managing an uneasy smile.

Toriel sighed. "Just go clean up. I'll throw your clothes in the washing machine if you'll just toss them outside of the door. You smell so strongly of alcohol that it's about to make me sick," she said.

"Yes ma'am, yes ma'am," Sans said. He indeed went to the bathroom. A few moments later, a small pile of clothes had been thrown onto the floor right outside of the door before the shower was turned on.

Toriel picked up the dirty clothes from the floor and went down towards the laundry room. She stopped in the living room, where Frisk and Papyrus were playing Mario Kart together.

"The Great Papyrus wins once more!" Papyrus declared. "Papy, that's the first time you've won since we've started playing," Frisk pointed out. But, Papyrus didn't quite hear that.

"Good news, you two. Sans showed back up. Dirty and tired, I should add as well. I sent him off to take a shower," Toriel said. "What do you think happened to him?" Frisk asked.

Toriel sighed to herself. "I'm not sure if I want to know that, in all honesty," she said. Then, she went down to the laundry room.

XxX

Sans didn't take very long in the shower. He stepped out with a towel wrapped around his hip bones. "Hey, T," he said. Toriel was sitting on the bed. "I want to talk to you. Come on, sit down," she said, patting the space next to her.

So, Sans sat down. "This is about what I'm thinking it's about?" he guessed.

"I believe so. My main question is...why? Why did you go so overboard with it?" Toriel asked.

Sans thought about it. His mind was still a bit jumbled for the alcohol. But eventually, he did find an answer. "The thing is...well...it's a simple as the fact that I tried the whiskey and it really got me _fired_ up. I wanted more because man, it made me feel good. Until I woke up in the back alley of some random city that I can't even remember the name of right now. All I know is that I had to _ghetto-_ way from there. After I puked my lack of guts out and got over the pounding headache," he explained.

Toriel was still for a moment. She eventually decided to just save that conversation for later. "After I got over how angry I was last night, I really just got... worried is the way to put it," she said.

"You looked like you wanted to kill me earlier," Sans recalled. "That was the anger coming back, I suppose," Toriel said. Sans thought about that for a moment. He would never fully understand women, goats or not. "Huh," was the only reply he could manage.

"Even though last night was a train wreck, I'm really just glad that you got back safely," Toriel summarized. "Before I try to hug you, tell me you won't use fire magic on me," Sans said, clearly wary.

He got silence as a response. Then, he got a hug. "I'm taking that as a promise that you won't," he said. Then, he hugged back.

"I love you, Sans," Toriel said. "I love you too, Tori," Sans reciprocated. They took a moment to look at each other.

Then, they met for a kiss. It lasted at least five seconds.

But they did eventually pull away and break their embrace. At last, Sans had to say it.

"...can I put some clothes on now?"

 *****I know, not the best. But I did make a tiny reference to something towards the middle of the story. If you guys somehow catch it, then point it out in the reviews and earn yourself a box of imaginary cookies. Anyways, be sure to leave a review on the way out, and I'll see you all in the next one! Bye!**


End file.
